Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Memory lane & COPD

I wonder how many of you have walked down memory lane recently. No I don’t mean in the true physical sense, for the door to that option isn’t always accessible to you, when you have COPD.

I was thinking more about taking a walk, down the pathways of your mind. Now there’s a route that is most always accessible in just a blink of an eye.

Recently I have been going through a few rough days with the COPD, mobility and shortness of breath being a big problem most of the time, despite doing the exercises. Ever since I was diagnosed with COPD I have been trying to get some education about just what it is that I am dealing with and how best to deal with it. ~ That is, above and beyond knowing the fact that I smoked for far too many years.

I have spent lots of time at the COPD International forum, where everybody there suffers the same disease that I do and many a whole lot worse. The differences being most all of the people there are at varying levels of this monster. I have learned a lot about COPD in those forums and heard first hand from other patients about their experiences. To hear some of their stories can be very sad and yet the majority of the people are a cheerful bunch, who take what they are given and do their best to work with that.

Their main fight really is just to stay alive from day to day and try to hold the line with this disease. I have also learned, by going to rehab courses also through my doctor and local hospital services. The internet too is an invaluable tool and source of information. So much so, I am now in a much better position to not only fight this thing, but to find ways to live longer with it too, but I digress.

One day last week I was sitting enjoying the peace and quiet and watching the birds, but inevitably my eyes started to close. I shook myself back to reality but continued to sit. I was short of breath again and my congestion in addition was causing me so many problems. It also caused me to start thinking about my youngest brother who died about two years go.

Looking back I realize now that he had died of COPD. I can remember him using inhalers long before I had even begun to suffer any breathing problems. He had though, never talked to me about his health situation. I remember one day we went out and started walking to go into town. We had only reached the bottom of the street when my brother suddenly started having an attack. He could not breath and worse, he had left his inhalers on the table in the house. For a few valuable seconds I didn’t know what was going on with him. Then the penny dropped and I took off like a shot to get his stuff from the house and get back to him as soon as I could. After a short period of time he recovered himself so were able to continue our walk. When I talked to him about it he said he was well and ok now.

~ That’s when I thought yes, well till the next time. ~

I think about those things sometimes in my travels down memory lane.

Even now, I can still close my eyes and visualize the way he struggled and shockingly ~ I sometimes see myself, as I am today. ~ I have come to the conclusion that if only I had known at that time, and better yet ~ had he known.

Just maybe he might have managed his illness a bit better. Perhaps with a little help and education, he would still be here today.

~ Maybe. ~ The world is always full of maybes. ~

C’ya

7 comments:

newnorth said...

very touching post...there are a lot of maybes

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you once again newnorth, the world can be a sad place sometimes.

Augs Casa said...

Your pulling at my heart strings mate. Hearing about your illness and your brother made me sad and frown. Then I think, my mate is writing this and he is well right now and I smile very big. It's tough mate, but I have every confidence that you will be well for a long time.

Cheers

Eric Valentine said...

Hi Augs, always a welcome friend.
The sad reality about this type of illness Augs is it is there constantly, so one is going to get good and not so good times. The thing is to grin and bear it mate.
That was a sad time over my brother, but hindsight is always wonderful I think but mores the pity. I do have a big smile right now like you say. It's a bit uncomfortable at the moment though because of the heat and humidity. Right now the humidex is at 37c ~ Not very good for breathing but I survive. :)

Singing Stream said...

(((((Hugs))))) I am with you in spirit always, my dear friend.

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you Laurie! You are always in our thoughts. (((HUGS))) Hope you had a great Birthday today. Come again anytime. :)

Singing Stream said...

Thank you Eric, love and blessings to you and your beautiful wife. Hugs :^D