Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Oh! Calamity! What Have Ye Done Now!

Well that does it!!. I’m going to change my May Day to Calamity Day!

Yes it has been a little like that today! I guess things have been a bit of a carry over with this stinking cold. Turns out it was a Sinus infection flu combo which now after 14 days has traveled to my chest. More antibiotics! Last night I was up all night because of too many trips to the bathroom. I’m thinking now that my doctor hates me! I have pills for this and puffers for that and liquids for the languished, the list goes on.
If it wasn’t so pathetic it could be laughable, my wife laughs all the time.

Between the two of us we have had a nightmare of a couple of weeks. This weekend we actually thought we were making some ground. That was until all hell broke loose here tonight! Elizabeth likes to do her workouts in the evening using bar bells, ankle weights and therabands.
Because we have been ill she had got behind and was trying to make up for lost time. I don’t know what I was doing when I first heard her yell!
Anyway there she was wailing away and holding her leg! “It hurts! My leg hurts! I don’t know what I did but I can’t move!” Well you can imagine how swift I could move because of my COPD and not being able to breathe!
Talk about the odd couple! We have them beat hands down!

I turned in my office chair and wheeled myself over to where she was still wobbling! She looked at me with that pained injured animal look on her face, you know; that look you sometimes see with a poor pooch who had its tail mashed under a Mack truck! I get her sat down, protesting every inch of the way down into a chair. I checked the leg out and saw nothing unusual. ‘You have to try and slowly ease some movement into the leg’ I tell her. “I can’t move” says she letting out another squeal! Meanwhile I am giving her a lecture on overdoing it with the exercises so soon after being sick. I rhymed on about maybe she twisted something and the sciatic nerve is acting up! Time passes and somehow she settles down and starts to feel a bit easier. Meantime I am gasping after the unexpected exertion, and trying to get my breath back, so I take off to the bathroom and just sit there.

You have to laugh sometimes for it is so easy to forget that at all times, I have this fifty foot line hanging from my face delivering oxygen. Wherever I go it goes with me, sometimes I feel like a rejected ant eater!
So! I am sat on the throne resting and Elizabeth is sitting on her office chair. You know the kind, the ones with wheels on it, this way at least the wife could be a little mobile.

Suddenly, knock. Knock. We both look up at the same time! Oh my God! I can’t move, I cannot breathe. Elizabeth is there in her night-dress! Guess who is going to answer the door! “Just a minute” the wife yells out, I never saw that chair move so fast in my life! She reaches into the bedroom and grabs my housecoat! “Coming!” She makes it to the door and then, “Oh my goodness Eric’s in the bathroom, please come in Janet” the wife pushes the bathroom door closed as she wheels by, knocking some oxygen bottle’s over that were sat by the wall.

Janet sits on the futon Elizabeth maneuver’s her chair and I make an entrance from the hallway. I think Janet arriving brought a brief semblance of sanity to the house.

At least Janet must think we are not too crazy around here, for she still visits! After Janet left bedlam returns once more, as in turning I ran over Elizabeth’s foot with my chair wheels! I think I acquired a new name? Yelp!!

But my goodness what will tomorrow bring! ~ ! ~ We have to go out, guess who is doing the driving! ~



newnorth said...

sweet story (well, I think it's sweet)
The wierdest time I had to answer the door was when I just found out my dog died. I was bawling and people from a local church were going door to door. Bet they were shocked :)

Augs Casa said...


Easy mate. Sounds like both of ya'll are over doing it. Let's get past all of this sickness first mate then baby steps. Here's hoping you have a wonderful stress free weekend.

Be Well

Eric Valentine said...

I hear ya buddy, to all bad things an end must come. I think we have this thing beat now!

The wife and I have just got to stop goofin around so much! LOL

Have a great weekend yourself augs.

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you Newnorth. Too bad about your dog, I guess your crying rang the callers bells though! LOL

Have yourself nice weekend, glad you like the story. :)