Friday, February 17, 2012
The mind is an amazing mechanism, mysterious yet with unfathomable depths. It will lead and guide you through life, but the choice of paths is all yours. At times it can be a maze of bewilderment and oft times; toss you around like a rudderless ship at sea on a sleepless night. On occasions like these I think too much.
I am afraid of dying. Maybe not so much the actual moment but what occurs after. How will she live on alone in her new world? All of us are born alone and each of us ‘Die alone’. Life, death, sounds so cheap in just mere words. When I sleep and dream, I think that this is the closest thing there is to death. I hope it is because dreams can be truly amazing; at times frightening. I fall asleep with hope of ‘Technicolor adventure’, often dreaming of past family members, my brain obviously not acknowledging their deaths while I sleep. Yet, my mind brings my past into the present and beyond, making its own surreal movies.
Then I wake, sleep wet, and fighting for the present, or to get back into that wonderful dream life.
When I first met her, it was the oddest thing, our first night together. You fall asleep, in complete trust, into different worlds. I woke up early and looked at her, lost in a story I could never know.
Thank you for trusting me. I will do my best to take care of you. I will try not to die before you.