Kettles Ahoy

What the hell was that? I sat bolt upright in bed. I had been rudely awakened with a loud bang, but now all was silent.

Climbing out of bed to check, I pressed my ear to the wall. Listening, I strained but heard nothing. Grumbling, I went down the short hall and checked the door peephole. Again nothing. I could swear I had heard faint voices, it was 3am.

Getting up later, ~ it was still on my mind as I put the kettle on for a cup of tea.

While I waited for it to boil, I switched on the computer, trying to wake up. It had been a few bad nights now with little sleep and I was a bit grumpy. Merry ho ho ho, right! ~

Something wasn’t right. Walking to the kitchen I checked the kettle, nothing. Oh no not again, I groaned. It just didn’t seem to want to start boiling. It got just short of boiling point and conked out, ~ switching it on, I tried again. I remembered the episodes of previous kettles before we settled on this one. ~ Well we wrestled with that thing all day, then finally gave up.

I hate it when you have to boil water in a pan. When I checked the warranty I discovered we were still in under the wire. That at least was a good thing. So next day after another erratic night, we cleaned it up, descaled the kettle with the proverbial vinegar, all ready to go. A thought then crossed my mind, ~ well maybe we should try a boil just to be sure before we contact them. ~

Well I’ll be! Yep she started working again alright. That prompted the remark from me that the kettle had been talking to the toaster and the fridge! Remember those?

~ Weird! Maybe those were the voices I heard?

It’s getting pretty bad when you start to believe that inanimate objects actually talk to each other, but then of course, there’s always a good argument for computers?

So there we were just sailing right along, this Englishman, with the kettle and his cup of tea! I might have known though, the euphoria lasted all of three days! The kettle died much the same way as before, the sleepless nights continued, but this time the voices were silent.

We’ve tried most all the stores for a replacement, and we have gone through much the same as the last episode, which has put me into something of a ‘small appliance rage’, trying to get a reliable instrument of torture.

An Englishman without his morning cuppa can be ugly! But tell that to the kettle, all it does is laugh and go zonk!

We do a fair amount of shopping at “The great Canadian Superstore” Loblaws for short, the store famous for its “Presidents Choice” products. So while touring this huge grocery store, which now seems to sell everything, from the food off the shelf right down to the seats you sit in to eat. The wife, checking out their small appliance section comes across this promising looking kettle. ~

It now resides in our kitchen, works fantastic and is most definitely forbidden to talk to the other appliances!

C’ya