The Ears & the Bush

It has not been a very long winter here, but for awhile it did get pretty darn miserable. For someone like me the weather can make things a bit awkward getting around, so I don’t get out too much. Today though the wife said, we should head out to the mall for some much needed window shopping. I like that for it’s the best kind, other than just hanging around waiting. You know what women can be like!

Elizabeth had been bugging me for some little time now to get my hair cut. All of this has arisen ever since she recently lost her favorite hairdresser.
I have to tell you about my honey. She is one of those people who at times can take this togetherness a bit far! When she first came down here to where we live now; she had to give up her regular hairdresser, believe me, a thing I never heard the end of for the longest time!
So it came to be that after much searching she finally found one that would be okay for her. I soon discovered that this also had to be okay for me too! She sincerely believed that we should both use the same hairdresser! Grrrrrr So goodbye to my barber who I usually went to at the mall, of course I would see him working away, once in a while in passing.

The new hairdresser’s name was Peggy, and if you ever met her you would swear she looked and behaved just like Peggy from ‘Married With Children’.

Great! A bubbly hairdresser! That alone was a sobering thought!

After a few visits though you kind of get to like her, I even got round to thinking that she didn’t do a bad job with my locks. Let’s face it; when your hair gets as thin on top as mine has become, you really can’t do too much damage!

The first hint that disaster might strike should have been when she and her family moved further away to live, even though she continued to work close by to us. One day though the inevitable did occur and Peggy moved on. Once more, we were looking for a replacement for the wife. The new one eventually, actually turned out to be right there in the same salon, so that suited Elizabeth just fine. I had thought about what we went through before, so I finally said ‘not for me this time!’

Sometimes the way women do go on, one would think that I looked like a shaggy sheepdog! I don’t have enough hair to even come close to that, more like a shorn sheep I reckoned!

So finally off we go to the mall. Like the dutiful hubby that I am, I trundle along. Me and my oxygen bottle in my walker, and the thing on my face attached to my schnozzle, to do some shopping and get my ears lowered.
Things went alright at first; as we wandered around the mall and got into some stores, eventually ending up at the barbers shop.


It was busy when we arrived so I sat on my walker watching everything. My old barber was still there working snipping away. It wasn’t very long before he spotted me sitting there, he smiled. So I decided I would wait until he was available and give him my business. Sometimes payback is a crock!

I sat in the chair and he went through his routine of putting the sheet around me, to keep the cuttings off. Right away he started into the talking bit, I know that it is all part of the business and being sociable, however; I often wonder why it is that barbers and hairdressers assume a customer wants to talk!

He ran the comb through my hair, then picking up a handful of my locks, scrutinized them. With a quizzical look on his face, and in that well polished English accent that some love to hate.(He was mimicking me) He uttered,

“Have you been cutting your own hair Sir?!!” “Knife and fork was it?”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry! Then we both burst out just a roaring, the rest of the customers must have thought we were mad!

Payback complete!

So the moral of this story is:

When you have a bird in the hand, don’t let the other bird cut your Bush!

C’ya!