Saturday, April 12, 2008

Overload

Recently my health has taken a bit of a plunge as I went through a rough period. When things like this happen it always makes things more difficult for Elizabeth. With so much ongoing with neighbors, at times our patience wears a bit thin. It’s easy to get down in the dumps over minor setbacks.

As if things weren’t tough enough, a week ago Elizabeth, who has an existing heart condition, had an attack of arrhythmia which put her into the hospital. I even had to get a friend to drive her in for I was having trouble breathing, and couldn’t get ready fast enough. The last time this happened I was in better shape and able to get her to the hospital in a hurry.


After a while I got the call that they would be keeping her in at least overnight.

That’s when I blew it and I got angry at God! I doubt what I had to say would qualify as a prayer, but who knows.

I guess when we are struggling with a full plate, inevitably it will overflow and that overload is what set me off. I can’t recall whether I was more upset or just plain angry, probably both. I sat by the phone after the call feeling very alone and really scared. First I was scared for I was worried sick about Elizabeth. I also didn’t know yet how serious this attack would work out to be.

I think that for the first time, the reality of how precarious and vulnerable our position is, really struck home. Here we were, Elizabeth having an attack and I was too incapacitated to help her! The enormity of the dangerous possibilities washed over me like a tidal wave and I wanted to be sick.

I sat there with my head in my hands, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I spoke out loud, to God I guess. I accused him of not being fair, “Don’t you think we have enough to deal with, with my having COPD! It’s very unfair that you do this to Elizabeth. We did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment! She works very hard to stay in good health, especially because of my health problem and then you strike her with this low blow, it’s just not right! Do you even listen when someone calls for your help? We need your help and your blessing, not be driven into the ground.”

I guess at some point I sat upright and realized what I had done and I was ashamed of myself. “I am sorry God for talking this way, I know there is so much work for you to do, but I never asked you for anything before until now, please help us.”

The next morning after much pleading on her part, the heart specialist let Elizabeth come home. It was such a relief to be together again.

Later on that day, we received a phone call. We have a new apartment to go to, our moving date is May 1st! We have been on a waiting list for two years! ~

I sat there very silent as I recalled my ranting of the previous night. I thought of God, and suddenly I felt quite humble. Whether it is just coincidence or not, we will never know. Right now I’m not saying too much.

Footnote: To say we are very busy right now would be an understatement. My absence in posting makes this obvious. Things are afoot. We are moving!

Over the next little while I won’t be around very much, too much packing and dismantling everything, too little time for a while. Will try to make it when able, meanwhile see you on a bright sunny day in May.


C’ya folks! ;)

22 comments:

Singing Stream said...

{{{{{{{Elizabeth and Eric}}}}}}}

Your reaction was normal and understandable..not just by me my dear friends, by God. He understands and as you can see, the pendulum swings..and the tides turn. All is well...Blessings to you both. My prayers are always with you.

Leon said...

Eric, I was worried when you seemed to have disappeared for better than a week. But now I understand,

Please let Elizabeth know that my thoughts and prayers are with her. They're with you too Eric! At least with the pending move, it sounds like you will be having a "good" busy period. But please, both of you listen to your bodies. From my standpoint God can give us the framework within which we lead our lives. Most of the details are left to us to figure out. We have our physical limitations, especially as we grow older, and we just have to use the wisdom God provides us to work wisely within the limits.

I missed you my friend! So take care and continue to lead a valuable and fulfilling life!

zirelda said...

Hugs for both of you. I really think it's ok to be angry at God. And who better to be angry at? He will understand more than anyone else.

Glad you got the apartment. I hope the move goes well!

samrina said...

Loads of prayers for you and Elizabeth, may God help you both..

Take care

Sunil said...

Hi there,
It's my first time over here & it's sad to know that things are not going fine at your end.

I'll include you & Elizabeth in my prayers.

Take Care! :)

Janice Thomson said...

Gosh Eric sorry to hear you had some rough times - glad to know Elizabeth is better now - do take care with your move and don't over-strain yourselves.
A meeting in sunny May - sounds delightful! Will be thinking of you till then.

Stacey said...

Dear Eric and Elizabeth,
My heart and prayers go out to you both, my thoughts are with you, now and always......
Good Luck with your move and I will keep an eye on your site, for your safe and speedy return.

Take care of yourself and Elizabeth

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you for your kind words of understanding Singing Stream you're such a good friend. ;)

Eric Valentine said...

Hello Leon, I am sorry for being the cause of your worries my friend. I should have realized that my absence might create concerns for my friends.

When these things happen, one doesn't always stop to think, my apologies Leon. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Zirelda, thanks for the hugs & understanding, it's nice having such caring friends.. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you for your prayers Samrina, do take care my friend. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you for your visit Sunil, I apreciate your concerns for us. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you also Janice, we will try to stay in one piece as we move to the new place. Hopefully we will get sorted out fairly quickly. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you very much Stacey for visiting and your prayers. We will take things easy when we can, hopefully the move & time will pass uneventfully. :)

Judith Shapiro said...

Thank you for sharing your tears. I look forward to your return after your move. Be well, both of you.

newnorth said...

I'm so happy you got some good news in the end. Moving can be fun as long as you don't let yourself get stressed over it. Good luck with everything and see you sometime in May!

forsythia said...

I wondered where you were, and now I know. Take care of yourselves. I wish we could all have a housewarming for you and Elizabeth in your new place.

Eric Valentine said...

Thank you Judith for your understanding. :)

Eric Valentine said...

Nice to seee you again Newnorth. ;)

Eric Valentine said...

Thanks Forsythia, the days draw closer & so do the good feelings. :)

Singing Stream said...

(((((((more hugs)))))))

Eric Valentine said...

SS. (((Backatcha)))