Reflections

Have you ever taken a look back at the road you’ve traveled through life, right from when you could first remember pertinent events? Then squinting at the state of the road you are on today, wondering how the hell you got there! Depending on how old you are that could encompass a lot of territory and events. I much preferred the world before, when it was more the size of a football, unlike now, that it has been reduced to the size of a gnat.

I can remember the days of World War II and just having radio as a medium because TV had not yet been discovered; there were movie theatres and live shows but you didn’t have a car, no! You either hoofed it or rode a bus to wherever you had to go. Of course we did have bicycles in those days so it wasn’t all bad. It was only later that TV came along and gradually other small subtle changes taking place that almost went unnoticed at times; such as diminishing numbers of live shows, movie theatres changing over to the ever popular bingo ‘Golden Scoop!’ and an increasing appetite for junk-food!

One would tend to think that with technology and progress over time, this would lead to better education, better jobs and a world where no one would want. Oh what a disappointment! All of these technological advancements were supposed to make many things so much better for all concerned; so tell me, what went wrong?

In my opinion the world has become a much smaller place, perhaps too much so. We have communications now that are almost unbelievable with the advent of the internet, gadgets and all that it has brought into people’s lives. What happened to an end to world hunger and the differences between the haves and have not?

Instead what we have is near the opposite; lots of ‘toys’ to be sure, but greedy businesses and politicians who promise every cookie in the bag to get your votes, dictators and terrorists. Major changes to the environment leading to so many natural disasters in the world, too many people dying of starvation still, and yet the almighty dollar rules supreme in someone’s pocket, it’s not fussy whose wearing the pants it seems! Please tell us there will be a new tomorrow at some point!

C'ya

Life's Carousel

The mind is an amazing mechanism, mysterious yet with unfathomable depths. It will lead and guide you through life, but the choice of paths is all yours. At times it can be a maze of bewilderment and oft times; toss you around like a rudderless ship at sea on a sleepless night. On occasions like these I think too much.

I am afraid of dying. Maybe not so much the actual moment but what occurs after. How will she live on alone in her new world? All of us are born alone and each of us ‘Die alone’. Life, death, sounds so cheap in just mere words. When I sleep and dream, I think that this is the closest thing there is to death. I hope it is because dreams can be truly amazing; at times frightening. I fall asleep with hope of ‘Technicolor adventure’, often dreaming of past family members, my brain obviously not acknowledging their deaths while I sleep. Yet, my mind brings my past into the present and beyond, making its own surreal movies.

Then I wake, sleep wet, and fighting for the present, or to get back into that wonderful dream life.

When I first met her, it was the oddest thing, our first night together. You fall asleep, in complete trust, into different worlds. I woke up early and looked at her, lost in a story I could never know.

Thank you for trusting me. I will do my best to take care of you. I will try not to die before you.

C'ya

Year End

As another year draws to a close I am thankful for all the support and good wishes from many friends and blogger's during my struggles. This was not an easy time, for there has been much to think about.

I am happy to report that I made it to this point, despite all the so called evidence from the medical fraternity to the contrary ~ Which just goes to show that nobody really knows what their left or right hand is doing sometimes.

I have no desire to appear brash, Dear God no! But we just have to keep hoping and working hard to retain the level of health I do so enjoy at this time. I kid myself not that everything is perfect, but I will take what I have and look forward to an improving new year.

So to each and everyone out there who stumbles upon this humble abode I wish you and your families, good health, happiness and a very Happy New Year!!

Breathe easy my friends.

C'ya

Christmas ~ Economically

It gets harder each year to keep Christmas
Ask the homeless or a family in need
Then there are those who would remove it forever
Political has-beens who don’t have a creed

There were times when Christmas was nicer
A time when people shared what they had
And they gave for the goodness of giving
For children whether good or they bad

You know the Spirit of Christmas is priceless
Doesn’t cost very much can’t you see
The joys it all brings when carolers sing
And you greet everyone ~ all for free!

So don’t be so sad or downhearted
Especially at this time of the year
With a smile remember its Christmas
And look forward to a better New Year!

Eric Valentine Dec 06/11 ©

Merry Christmas everyone! :)

C'ya

Ole Reliable

Sometimes I feel I am like the sun,
I rise up every day on this earth.
~ Somewhere ~

I may not always be seen in person,
But each day I am always there.
~ For you ~

Eric Valentine Sept 27/11 ©

C'ya

My Better Half

I want to compliment my wife
Whose kindnesses, have charmed my life
And though her patience I have tried
Yet, much on her, I have relied.

Many is the time when I needed talk
We two would wander, for a walk
And as I opened my heart to her
She'd disagree, perhaps concur.

Argument’s, our bond did strengthen
And now, as shadows start to lengthen
I think I must, bespeak my love
And laud thee as, my treasure trove.

In silence I, my wife have cherished
And failing her, could well have perished
She's been my sustenance, my pride
A golden girl there by my side.

So darling, speak I now at last
In tribute to our precious past
I know we have a future too
For without you, what would I do.

Eric Valentine Feb ©

C'ya

A Good Man

This last week in Canada, we lost an incredible statesman and politician, Jack Layton. It is a great loss of a man at the pinnacle of his career, certainly prime minister material and who knows, I guess we never will. He died from his second bout with cancer. He will most certainly be missed as he is already. Rest in peace Jack.

These are a few words from the end of a letter he wrote to Canadians before he died.

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.

And we'll change the world”




C'ya

Cancer & Chaos

Britain’s shopkeepers
Traditional bastions of time.
Disappearing in the smoke of night,
Pillaged by thugs and
Gorged by flames,
Violence, and senseless petrol bombs~
What has this world come to?

Eric Valentine August 8/11 ©



C'ya

Whodunit

I can’t remember the last time I took the opportunity to sit down and read a book. I haven’t been a reader since my younger days and then it was Mickey Spillane detective stuff. Yeah I know; pretty ancient material at best. With the advent of the computer, you couldn’t tear me away from the screen, and so, has been the story of my life.

Many things happen to dictate the roads in life you will take. Health has been one of them for me and the challenge of survival. Picking up a book was not high on my list of priorities. Of course all that changed a short while ago, when my computer died an unnatural death! At first I thought it was the end of my world, for try as I may, I came up short in the fix it dep’t. Weeks turned into months and I could not accept that my baby was beyond repair, no matter what they told me. Eventually I was proved right, but that’s another story.

Over the winter months we have watched a lot of movies on DVD/blue ray. We get them from our library. One was a “Kurt Wallander” mystery video. It was taken from several novels written by Swedish writer Henning Mankell. What proved interesting about that was a second disc which covered an interview with the author. After listening to him and being so enthralled with the movie, I just had to read one of his books. That was it! He has written twelve books in the ‘Kurt Wallender series’. Since then I have read six of them and am part way through number seven! I can’t ever remember being so consumed by a book the way I have with this series. The books are about 400 to 500 pages long but I just seem to devour them. It’s been a long time since I had books that you just cannot put down. I recently went through a two week period where I could not get another book until more came in to the library. Can you believe I went through Wallander withdrawal symptoms!

If you like intrigue that you just sink into and become one of the characters, then this is a read for you.

C'ya

Subtle Things

I sat there waiting, watching and still wondering what to believe. Like millions of others we had followed the aftermath of the Japan disaster. Seeing such devastation left no doubt in anyone’s mind as to the size of the recovery task that lay ahead. Then came the nuclear reactors and radiation tragedy and the whole world reeled in horror at the size of the fallout.

I read a science article of the physical effect on the planet earth, and how the disaster had affected the axis of the world. One report stated that the axis had been changed by as much as eight feet. This revelation is staggering!

It was barely noticeable at first, but this last couple of days something didn’t seem quite right. That’s when it hit me. The sun wasn’t reaching across the room as it usually did, that’s why I was watching. I was up early this morning, for I wanted to test this theory. Slowly the sun crept up to the living room window and started its journey into the room. In the opposite corner we have some tropical plants that are flourishing very well. I watched as the sun rose a little higher, moving along the wall, and ever so slowly across the carpet. Eventually the sun would bathe the whole of the opposite wall, including the plants. They would reach out in all their glory for this daily treat, as short as it would be, then the sun would move on for another day.

I couldn’t believe it! The whole routine was different!

Now when the sun lights up the room, it comes in a little lower and only partially across the wall. It doesn’t even reach the corner with the plants anymore. Instead it travels across the carpet and stops short, roughly eight feet! Can this be possible?

So I ask you, have you noticed any small subtle detail in your life since the Japan disaster? If it wasn’t for the plants, I might have missed it.

C'ya

Christmas

It’s that time of year once again, different people call it varying names but in our house we call it Christmas. When you get to a certain age there are very few surprises left, maybe that’s why the numbers get smaller as well. People come and people go, some move but most pass on and all you are left with are memories.

This morning the wife went to open the door ready to go out and almost stepped on a small package, tucked neatly up against the door so that you could hardly miss it. This is what Christmas is all about.



This is a very special gift,
That you can never see
The reason it's so special is
It's just for you and me.
Whenever you are lonely
Or even feeling blue
You only have to hold this gift
And know I think of you.
You never can unwrap it
Please leave the ribbon tied.
Just hold this package close to you
It's filled with love inside.

Love Madge


A Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

C'ya

How Old Are You ?

something I thought was cute to share...


Age is a quality of mind.
If you have left your dreams behind,
If hope is cold,
If you no longer look ahead,
If your ambition's fires are dead,
Then you are old.

You know your getting older when:

The gleam in your eye comes from the sun hitting your bifocals.
When the mind makes a commitment that the body can't fulfill.
You feel like "the morning after" but you haven't been anyplace.
Your little black book contains only the names ending in M.D.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
You get winded playing cards.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You know all the answers, but no one asks you the questions.
You sit in your rocking chair, but can't get it going.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You have too much room in the house, but not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

have a Merry Christmas

C'ya

Enigma/Sojourner

A few days ago I received the sad news that my friend in the states had passed on. Like myself, he too suffered with this COPD, but his case has been much worse than mine.

I first met James whose internet handle was Enigma/Sojourner, in a COPD thread. We became friends quite quickly because like me, he also was a writer. Believe me Enigma could make the English language stand on its head in his orations; he was that prolific with his words. No matter his topic, people would just hang on every word, such was his eloquence. He was also a very accomplished artist with his portrait painting; his work just took your breath away. He was such a talented man in so many ways.

In addition to his writing and painting, he built boats, was quite a fitness guy with his running, being an ex marine and had a way with the ladies that would charm the hair off a coconut. His heart though was lost to his wife a long time ago. Never have I ever read so much feeling in a poem, as when he opened the door to his soul, writing to Mary. Of course like myself, he had an insatiable thirst and knowledge of poetry. His passing has really come too soon for such a talented man, what a waste to the world. His contributions through his words already are sorely missed. Sleep easy my friend.

In closing I have written a poem for my friend, for he would expect it of me and I could not have it any other way.

Don’t bury me

Don’t bury me where the sun can’t shine.
But on a hillside treed and green
Where I could see the oaks and smell the pine
Where the birds once sang and preened.

I’d like to think, that my spirit can roam,
Hills and valleys that reach to the sea,
Where the smell of the brine, and the crisp ozone
Ships in sail ride the waves, sleek and free.

I have written my words and have sang all my songs,
I’ve worked on the beaches, and I’ve gazed upon sights
My journey’s all done, the lifes highway so long.
I rest, my eyes closed - under cool starry nights.

Eric Valentine June 7th 2010 ©

C'ya

Just Lately

Still coming around after my near brush with the unspeakable, just lately we seem to have been consumed by my/our love of Leonard Cohen. I don’t know if I ever mentioned in the past, but it was my interest in him as a younger person that first got me writing poetry. Years ago I loved his music first; it was later that I got into his poetry and who could not?

Ever-since I got out of the hospital though, I have been doing more reading and movie watching. Not long ago, for my birthday actually; (Feb 14) Elizabeth brought home from the library a DVD of Leonard Cohen’s 2008 tour in London, England. I was captivated. Actually seeing him perform live onstage was something I had not seen before. I was left with an insatiable hunger for more of his music. I had never really listened in depth to his lyrics for the songs, the words absolutely amazed me.

Most nights before we go to bed we end up playing some of his music. The problem is, once we start listening we keep playing more, it has that kind of effect, at least on us it did. I doubt that there are any of his songs that we don’t like, but like all artists, we do have our favorites.

Here then is a short list of what we like the most to end the evening with:

In my Secret life
Alexandra Leaving
Take this waltz
Famous blue raincoat
The gypsy’s wife
Can’t forget
Night comes on
Rivers of dark
Love it-self
Master’s song.

Since then, we purchased the video of that concert and added a number of CD’s of his music to our collection. Needless to say, every time we play a song of his we are amazed at the accomplishments of this man.
We also picked up his latest biography by Tim Footman and it was excellent reading. In addition, we just bought his latest book of poetry, “Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing”.
Once you spend a little time listening to Leonard, it’s not too difficult to become enraptured with his music and hypnotized by his genius with words.
Here is a man who with his sheer talent with the English language, has managed to bridge the sands of time for all eternity, painting his soul into all he creates.
It can be said in all honesty, that with the aging of his years (75 now) and the coarse sound of his voice, he has become better.

You have to live forever Leonard!! The world needs you.
Well, I do.

C’ya

A COPD Theory

I wrote this in 2008.

I had not been sick that year with a cold, flu or a chest infection. Considering that I have severe COPD that is quite a revelation. So being an analytical type of person I set out to figure out why.

Upon checking my records for the winter of 2006/07, I came up with some very interesting information. At that time I was enrolled in a rehab follow up program being run in our local community. I also began to get sick closer to the end of the program and was missing rehab days at an alarming rate.

It had not been that noticeable to me at the time, for my illness was a full time occupation. Naturally, when you get under the weather and start to struggle with shortness of breath (SOB), there is the tendency to blame it on the COPD. There were many days of confusion and panic on my part because of my lack of education of COPD.

Thanks to the rehab program, the therapists and all staff concerned, all that had changed to the point where I learned enough to know how better to live with my impairment; also how to negotiate my way around most of my minor emergencies.

It was actually right at the end of the program and we had started the follow up exercise drop-in stage, that the sick routine became obvious. A pattern had started to form; I would attend the drop in, and three days later I would get sick either with a cold or a chest infection. This of course prompted my absence from rehab and then some recovery time to get better and strong enough to resume my program activities.

The problem is when a person has ailments like these it’s bad enough, even for a normal person. When that person suffers with severe COPD, then it can get really bad and one has to be very aware. The reason for this is, as a COPD sufferer the immune system is greatly compromised, thus putting that patient at a far greater risk to whatever else is floating around. Any simple illness can land a COPD patient in hospital in a hurry, for most types of exacerbations will do that to you. A lot of hospitalizations usually come in the form of severe infection, SOB, respiratory failure and/or pneumonia.

After doing an evaluation of all my own circumstances, I reached this conclusion. ~ During the course of doing exercise workouts in the rehab gym, one couldn’t help but notice the volume of patients attending drop-in. This I concluded made it extremely difficult for rehab staff to stay on top of the apparatus hygiene during program in progress use. Patients were working their routines in rotating ten minute increments. As soon as one machine became vacant, another patient stepped in for their 10 minute workout. It would follow that whatever germs were present on the equipment, these could be passed onto the next person, purely by using the same machine without it being sanitized between each use. Of course, if at some point the patient puts their hand to their face the rest is elementary; germs are passed on, and some people get sick. Maybe my being a little run down, around that time, contributed to why I got sick so frequently that year.

It is important for anyone who has COPD to remember that their immune system is not like that of a well person. Because of the illness and the drugs they have to take, their immune system is greatly compromised; as such, they are at greater risk of catching germs and suffer more than one could imagine as a result.

It is a COPD patient best interest to keep up with exercising regularly as well as eating properly and sensibly. Practice your purse lip breathing constantly, this is important.

Having a few small weights, 3lb bar bells, thera-bands and religiously keeping up with a rehab workout routine at home is a must. Lots of walking certainly helps to keep you in shape. The affect of all this can slow down the progress of COPD, but you have to be relentless in your desire to want to live, vigorously applying yourself accordingly.

I did not like being away from the gym and the expertise of my PT, also the benefit of the better workout that I could achieve with the machines, but the risk for me was too great. I feel that a patient has to assume some of the responsibility of looking out for their health and do what they can to try and protect themselves from germs and getting ill. I did consider taking extra precautions, such as wearing a mask if necessary and even surgical gloves. Perhaps concentrate more on what I handle, as well as keeping my hands from my face. Maybe I could make this work and stay germ/sickness free for the most part. Having COPD is no game, for it is after all, your life that is at stake.

Breathe Easy.

Eric Valentine Jan 24/08 ©

C'ya

Rub-a-Dub-Dub

The wife and I were talking today as I got ready for a bath, and for some reason that set me thinking of baths of another time. My mind was cast back to when I was very young and WWII was still in its infancy.

I was drawn back to a houseful of people, kids mostly. This situation was created that way as a result of being evacuated. Groups of families were being made to fit into whatever accommodation was available. Our small two & a half bedroom house had a total of seven children and five adults. As a child it never occurred to me that if the kids occupy the beds, where did the adults sleep? Of course children didn’t think of such things at that age.

The bathtubs of those days were the iron porcelain glaze type with legs on them. They always seemed to look more grey than white, with the perpetual rust stain that seemed to come with every tub. Looking back I chuckle; for at times, when the tub got filled with the water from the tap, the water often looked almost as if someone had used it already. I don’t know if this was the effect of the colour of the water, or if it just looked that way because of the grayish tone of the bathtub.

I was certainly reminded of five children to a bed, and us kids getting bathed, all three brothers in the tub at the same time. The water was heated mostly by pots being boiled on the gas stove, you get the picture.
There were days during the cold winter months when mom gave us a farmers bath. We would take turns standing in a large basin set on a hand pegged rug in front of the open coal fire. Because it was so cold and damp upstairs in the rooms, we used to pull our clothes into the bed to warm them before we could get dressed.

There’s something to be said about getting older; for with memories like these, one never forgets what life used to be like and I’m thankful for that.

I headed for the bathroom, thinking twice about pulling the wife's leg and asking where’s my rubber ducky!

C'ya

A Second Chance

Since I started with COPD I have never really had a crisis situation bad enough that we couldn’t handle, and most times survived the day to fight another time.

Four months ago such an event took place for us, one that has changed our lifestyle forever. ~ Scared? You bet your life we were scared and the feeling doesn’t go very far away. There have been many things happen in my life, but none that has affected us the way this one single event has done. You’re damn right we were stunned for a while at the possibilities.

The year 2009 was a very bad year for us and many others I don’t doubt. We never dreamed when Elizabeth’s mother passed away that this would be just the beginning of a trend yet to come.

Unfortunately these were issues of health in our house.

Late Oct, I went down with the above mentioned COPD exacerbation that landed me in hospital, but that was just the beginning of a very unpleasant experience, culminating in heart problems. They told me later, that I was not supposed to walk out of there. I reckon they didn’t know me and Elizabeth yet.

Cutting a long story short, the whole experience set me back quite a long way physically. It has, and continues to be, a long road back, but the improvement has been very encouraging the last couple of months.

Yes, 2009 was a very bad year but 2010 is really turning out to be a winner so far. We look forward to the spring and flower planting and in addition, I want to try and get my pen back into action very soon.

It has been very encouraging to see so many different people checking in at the blog and leaving your kind comments. I do hope to make things up for my absence in the near future. Thank you all for caring so much.

C'ya

Merry Christmas

It would seem like I have been away for an eternity and for that I apologise to all my friends for my silence. I have been very ill for a few months, but I will write more on that later. This is Christmas time, a time of celebration. With that thought in mind I would like to share with you a video about a very special happening a long time ago. I hope you are as touched as I was.



Best wishes to all for the future..

c'ya

Wishful

If I could tap into your energy
I would run and I’d frolic all day,
No more I’d be bound, like a stake in the ground
I would be happy and carefree and play.

Believe me it’s no fun, when you can’t breathe or run
And the oxygen is the lifeline each day,
You sure do learn fast, that each day is a test,
While you struggle as you work and no pay.

So believe me, if I had your energy
I could soar like a bird on the wing.
There’d be nothing more thrilling, nor be so fulfilling,
Than to perch on a branch, and just sing!

Eric Valentine
Oct 15/09. ©

C'ya

Just Bob

All rural places like ours have their share of characters, they don’t always seem to do very much, but they certainly add a little flavor to the general community. Over a period I have written a few little stories around our guy Bob he‘s been quite the entertainer.

The dreary skies hung somberly over the small hamlet. Surely a depressing sight to start the day. This year that had held such promise for the coming season, appears to have failed quite miserably so far.

Our small place this season seemed to have changed quite noticeably, with the ever diminishing numbers of town characters, disappearing into the hazy woodwork of memory lane.

It is amazing really, the effect these town character folks had on the local community. It would appear that their just being there, even as a town character, can contribute to the aura of the place, but being even more conspicuous in their absence.

Undaunted by the changes in local events, our friend Bob, ( he of the chicken dance and Alzheimer’s ), just kept moving through time eternal as though nothing else ever happens, which it doesn‘t in his world, as he ambles through his daily routines.

Recently though when sighting Bob downtown, even he seemed on the verge of change as he emerged from the aftermath of a somewhat tedious winter. Oft times he would stand on the corner just looking, as if to decide which direction he should go. Even the cold weather doesn’t change much for Bob, as he huddles up in his warm coat and goes about his daily business. I sometimes wonder how he dealt with Bob Barker departing “The Price is Right” program, a big part of Bobs daily routine.

We had heard on the grapevine that over the past few months, he had been found wandering around in what were a few new haunts for him.
It was said he had forgotten his way home on one occasion.

His appearance had seemed a little more jaded than usual, and these days he always looked to be in need of a haircut. His Alzheimer’s has worsened and his stoop more pronounced, as he walks ever slower than ever. It seems only a matter of time before he too will eventually succumb to the ravages of his disease, and himself disappearing, into ‘town character’ history.

That day actually came sooner than we thought. A short while ago a friend called us to let us know that Bob has finally had to go into a home, his Alzheimer’s had got too bad and sadly, he had become a danger to himself wandering around.

It will seem strange not seeing Bob on his usual jaunts, him and his dancing like the pied piper down the street. Like the other missing town characters though, he too will become a distant memory of what was from a different time. ~

So long buddy, you will be missed - by some.


C’ya